CaN u SaVe Me FrOm ThIs WoRlD oF mInE?

piratexproperty @ 2006-10-20T09:07:00

2006-10-20T16:26:31Z

So... yesterday was 7 Months with niall... but i didnt realy get to talk to him and i cant really blame him for that... he's always so busy, its just hard being in a long distance relationship with someone who is so busy with life (school, senior stuff, work) that i can only talk to him for like 5 min.

thisis what happens...

niall calls
ring ring ring...

Me: Hello?
Niall: HEY BABY!
Me: I'm So Happy You Called! How was your day?
Niall: Fine... How was yours?
Me: well... it was ok... i went to work and had a million invoices to do. But OMG i have to tell you something@!
Niall: I have to go im on my way to work...gotta clock in.
Me: oh, ok... can we talk tonigh?
Niall: probably not i am really tired babe...
Me: oh ok... ummm...work hard. love you
Niall: love you too
Me: Bye

Once again i am going to say i am not writing this to bash on him, its not his fault.
but its just hard keeping a relationship qoing with conversations like this...

oh well ill pull thru!

i am bitter

2006-10-16T23:12:32Z

the subject pretty much explains it all...

and i... want to go home and just lie down or drive around

piratexproperty @ 2006-10-03T08:16:00

2006-10-03T15:43:01Z

So pretty much my boyfriend is amazing and works so hard... but its finally taken a toll on him and now he cant come see me except for on wednesdays...(but thats at church w/60 other kids) so im not going to get hardly any time with him... I would love to drive out there to come and see him but my parents wont let me do that, not yet anyway. So my every-other-saturday's with niall are over... im guessing ill get maybe 2 afternoons a month with him...(since even if he does make it down here its not till like 4:30)

i probaby sounds like im mad at him but im not... im mad that i wont get to see him, and that he is exhausted, and at the fact that he fell asleep behind the wheel.

i dont even know why i write in here nobody reads it... maybe i am just venting my frustration.

Adia

2006-09-20T19:01:41Z

i like the name Adia... a lot...

thats all for now

piratexproperty @ 2006-09-20T07:49:00

2006-09-20T15:11:43Z

so... on sunday night i went to the staples center with my grandma and Angela and saw DELIRIUM, Cirque du Soleil... and wow. those people are uber talented! i loved every min. of it and for like the first hour i didnt even want to blink! haha but before the show started g-ma, ang and i went to our suite (My grandma's office has a suite in the staple's center) and claimed 2 great seats and then even thought there was free food in the suite (hot dogs, sub sandwitches, hot wings, chips and salsa, pop corn, drinks, salads, and something else) but we decided to be fattys and go find food downstairs... for those of you who dont know Staple's center is like this Huge oval building and freaking confusing. they have escalators that go to some flors but not others... elevators that can only stop on half the floors. so i find this lady right and i said,"Mam? do you know where the food stands are?"... she say's ,"Well sure...(points in a direction)walk down over here and there is panda express, pizza hut, and mcdonalds!" I told angela and we were all excited for orange chicken! we raced around and panda was closed pizzahut didnt exist and but mcdonalds was open and running. i go to order and ask for a cheeseburger and he goes,"i'm sorry we dont have cheeseburgers...look at the menue." WHAT? so you can make a quarter pounder with cheese or a big mac or a double cheese burger but not just a plain cheeseburger? so..."ok then i'll just have a Quarter pounder thank you..." and no joke i ordered paid and as i mooved out of the way my food was in front of my face! haha so on our way back to the suite we got turned aroung but finally i saw an escalator so i went for it... angela got stoped by someone and this lady yelled at me.."you cant go up there!" umm ok... i am allready on and moving why not. so i ave to come back down looking like an idiot and find an elevator. All of this over mcdonalds!
the show was great and the opening singer was "Nitza" she was amazing... angela and i met her and talked to her got her cd and signature. fun times!

then i went home and got sick at like 4am threw up for 2 days and now im back at work!

yesterday was my 6 months with niall! yay!

well i have to go!

<3 you guys!

piratexproperty @ 2006-09-07T07:50:00

2006-09-07T15:00:04Z

last night i went to The Burn...
i got to see Maureen! (i miss her so much!)and listened to Mike speak... and then after Richard played the piano. WOW, he is a great piano player...i am pretty sure that he melted the hearts of all the girls that were standing there. after that i went to the Downey Landing and got dinner for my dad. listened to ben talk in his Mafia voice and then just hung out there for a little bit.
niall and i got into a little bit of an argument, which was sort of retarded beause it had nothing to do with us at all...but with someone else's relationship issues. and then when i got home and got ready for bed i got an unexpected phone call from nick bentrem and talked to him for like 45 min. he's a pretty amazing kid.
Now im at work and i have to open the phones in like 3 min so i have to go.

i might post more later!

about myself

2006-09-06T17:40:15Z

1.Full name: Brittany Ragsdale... thats all you need to know
2. Your nick name: Rags
3. Birthday: 11/22/88
4. Place of Birth: i am not sure actually
5. Zodiac Sign: i dont have one...
6. Gender: female
7. Family: Grandma, Father, Kassidy
8. Friends: Jessica, Niall, Scott, Maureen
9. Occupation: crap
10.Residence: D-town
11.Screen Name: piratexproperty

__Your Appearence___

12. Hair Color: Dirty blonde
13. Hair Length: 3 in. past shoulders
16. Height: 5'2 1/2
17. Braces?: no
18. Glasses?: yea
19. Piercings: like 6 in my ears and my belly button...(took out my tounge)
20. Tattoos: not yet... i am going to get 2 sparrows
21. Righty or Lefty: righty

___Your 'Firsts'___
22. First best friend: laura herndon
23. First Award: when i was in Kirkwood probably something like a swim award in the summer
24. First Sexual Partner: none
25. First pet: Baxter my 22 lb. cat
26. First Real Vacation: to Burney Falls
27. First Concert: i dont remember
28. First Kiss: sean jordan

___ Favorites___

29. Movie: Tombstone
30. TV Show:
31. Color: hot pink
32. Rapper: not sure
33. Song Right Now: only one- mercy mercedes... Light years away- Mozella... Vicarious- Tool
36. Candy: werthers
37. Sport To Play: i dont play sports
38. Sport To Watch: UFC
39. Favorite brand to wear: Famous stars and straps
40. Store: Metro Park and urban outfitters in pasedena
41. Class: i loved criminal justice and photography
42. Animal: i like many diff animals
43. Books: i loved White Oleander and Pop Goes The Weasel
44. Magazine: Blender or Juxtapoz
_
__Currently___

49. Eating: nothing
50. Drinking: water
51. Typing: this
52. Online: how else would i post this
53. Listening to: Tool
54.Thinking About: The words in the song Vicarious
55. Wanting To: just drive around listening to music till i run out of gas
56. Watching: myself type
57. Wearing: a skirt and 2 cami's and glasses...sparrow earings and an indian wedding ring

___Your Future__

58. Want Kids?: one or two
59. Want to be Married?: not anytime soon... too young... not ready
60. Careers in Mind: im not sure, i wanted to be a child counsler
_
_Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

67. Cute or handsome: the usually go hand in hand
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: I love a good hug after a good kiss
70. Short or Tall: i like the guy to be taller then me
71. Bold or Shy: in between
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Both
73. Fatty or Skinny: not skinny
74. Sensitive or Loud: a happy medium
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationships.
76. Sweet or Caring: caring!
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: i usually go for trouble makers haha but not thins time
_
__Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: not really
80. Smoked: no
81. Ran Away From Home: yea
82. Broken a Bone: toes and a finger
83. Got an X-ray: yep
84. Broken Someones Heart: i dont know
85. Broke Up With Someone: ya
86. Turned Someone Down: ya
87. Cried when someone died: i dont usually cry... i withdraw
88. Cried at school: ya

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: yes mam
90. Miracles: Affirmative
91. Love At First sight: lust at first site
92. Ghosts: theres something there
93. Magic: no
94. Soul Mates: yes
95. Heaven: yes
96. Hell: yes you cant have a heaven without a hell
98. Kissing on The First Date: yes
99. Horoscopes: nope

___Have You Ever___

100. Gone Skinny Dipping?: yes
101. Kissed Someone of the Same Sex?: yea
102. Hurt YourSelf Out of Anger?: yup
103. Had Your Heart Broken?: not from like a relationship, but from a Family situation
104. Done Something You Regret?: i dont believe in regrets
105. Doubted You Religion?: yes i have
106. Laughed so Hard you Pee'd in Your Pants?: haha Kelsey!
107. Punched Someone at School?: Yes
108. Stolen Something?: Nope
109. Been Hospitalized for Longer Than 48 Hours?: yes (2 weeks)
110. Cried so Hard You got Sick...or Threw up?: yes

life without myspace...

2006-09-05T23:50:21Z

Myspace and i have been apart now for a good month now and i have to say the first two weeks were hard! it had become such a big part of my life, i felt stranded without it... i was bumed because i swore that i was missing out on so many amazing posts... but who was i kidding. i still mis it because i like to look at my friends from LaVerne and see how they are doing and i enjoyed going through MySpace Music and finding newer bands to listen to and download. but now...four weeks out of my love/hate relationship with MySpace i'm finding more time to do the little things i put off before. For instance, i used to come home and hop on myspace when i got home and would stay on there until i the dog would either be pulling on my pants or scratching at the door cause the poor guy wanted to walk... Now i come home (Except for on wednesdays) and take him for a good half and hour to 45 min walk and it's a whole lot better for me than sitting in front of a computer screen.
So things in my life are going pretty smoothly...For those of you who dont know Niall and i have been together for almost 6 months now (which is a lot for me) i've never had a guy stick around that long... usually they get to know me and then find me annoying and get rid of me, but niall hasn't i can honestly saw he is the sweetest guy i've ever met!
Work is a little bit better. They have got me doing Reception/Accounts Payable/Utility Bills/Company Mail so i am finally no as bored as i used to be. Plus Jessica makes my day so much better. She's 19 so we can somewhat relate to eachother since were in a company surrounded with adults!

well this is all im going to post for now!
♥ Brittany

piratexproperty @ 2006-03-14T11:50:00

2006-03-14T20:04:12Z

well i thought that i was done with livejournal but i was wrong...

last night i decided that i might need to give up myspace since it is taking up way tooooo much time in my life and i have WAY bigger issues going on right now :(...but i am still debating that issue!

some of you allready know that i am leaving school at the end of the week... and yes, i know...HOW RANDOM .right?
well yesterday i was told that i am going to have a job op. (opening next week) and my grandma wants to take me out of school and have me work there...of course...being the girl that i am, i cried and then aasked to leave and go for a walk so that i can ave 15 min. to figure out what the crap just happened.
i call some poeple and that made me feel batter, and my ultimate decision was to take the job...its a long story, but i couldn't see any better option.

after i made this decision, of course, the first thing that i thought of was....
what i never got to do in high school..you know the things that a lot of girls got to do!

1. go to a dance...(niall helped me remember that he did ask me though...so i can't say that i was never asked!)

2. go to a high school party!

3. never done drugs... yea i know thats a good thing! and i am proud of it

4. never got drunk! or for that matter drank...

5. i never got a 3.0 or higher

6. i never went on a real date!

7. never had a bonfire!

8. haha...never got pregnant

9. never went to a birthday "party"....can you tell i am running out of things that i haven't done...?

i guess it's just all so weird...on monday i was debating asking someone to sadies... and today well...i have to grow up...

everything happens for a reason right? hopefully!

i love everyone at warren! and friday is my last day.... i will mis you sooooooo much you have no idea...

i'll be at school tommorow!

piratexproperty @ 2005-07-18T19:34:00

2005-07-19T02:34:49Z

hi its angela and i own.

piratexproperty @ 2005-07-07T08:35:00

2005-07-07T16:35:39Z

I MISS EVERYONE SOOO BAD!

piratexproperty @ 2005-06-27T12:35:00

2005-06-27T19:42:17Z

well now that my body clock has adjusted and i am not as exausted all the time i really like my job! the only dower part is i have to get up at fluffing 5am every morning....
and i dont get to hang out with my friends as much.

on another note i have been feeling really distant lately with both God and church, and the people there...i find myself not really wanting to go to church anymore and before i looked foward to it sooo much, like church was the highlight of my week...i dont know whats happening but i dont like it!

hopefully it will change!

well i have a computer with internet all day at work on my desk, so please people E-Mail me!

piratexproperty@yahoo.com thanks

make me laugh

piratexproperty @ 2005-06-12T15:27:00

2005-06-12T22:43:02Z

was it supposed to be like this?
i miss my family...kassidy,melanie,my old friends in LaVerne...
this friday it will be one year that i have moved back here into Downey,im glad i made that decision, but it seems like things got worse before they got better...
i have been searching sooo hard for my mom and as many of you know there was no luck, but i never give up so maybe i will find her one day before its 2 late. i am not exactly sure y i am so bummed right now, i had a pretty good weekend(was a little bored at times)it was my dads suprise birthday party, he cried he was so happy, it was cute, and i hung out with maureen for a little while on friday and saturday. i love her and natalie
they are so adorable.

on another note i feel really bad for all this crap with kelsey. i blew it out to far, and told to many people.i tend to do that. someone told me last week after i said i hate drama that they think i like it...i hope thats not true.

the school year is almost over and im not ready to move on.i feel like i have wasted so much time on little crap and stuff i could have avoided.i tell myself every year that i am going to do really well in school and get GREAT grades but i never pull through...and thats the only thing i do that with, everything else that i set my mind to, i dont give up on without a good fight.

i have nothing else to say right now
later!

piratexproperty @ 2005-06-05T18:17:00

2005-06-06T01:23:00Z

this is to kelsey...and any of her other friends that came to my complex...by the way the only person i recognized was 1 other person...so please leave your name if you were there. unless(in kelsey's words) you dont want to finish what you started.

OKAY! I don’t even know where to start with you Kelsey! But if you want to bring your crap to live journal then you had better know what you’re talking about. I am glad you find pleasure in picking on 8th graders. But next time you go and do something lame like that, do it for a REAL reason…OR DON’T DO IT AT ALL! And I like how you decided to bring like 5 other chicks with you so Angela’s house and they didn’t even know her. I am glad you found people that are just as lame and crazy as you are. You did all of this cause Angela supposedly called you a “bad Christian”…you’re not exactly helping yourself by trying to beat her up. And to set the record straight, we didn’t call my grandma. I actually tried to make sure you wouldn’t get caught cause believe me I wanted to talk to you face to face. My grandma was already on the other side of the fence and I tried to warn you but u decided to hop the wall and close the gate in my face. I know what up probably thinking right now…”what do I have to do with this?” but do yourself a favor, answer some bigger questions like…
1. Why are you picking on Angela?
2. Why did you have to bring other people to come talk to her?
3. Are you really being a good Christian by doing all this?
4. Why are you being so LAME!?!?!?!?

And yes…by the way, if you try and hurt Angela I WILL take you out with no hesitation. So…think twice before you pull this crap again.

I <3 you Angela

Wow

2005-06-01T02:57:36Z

well i havent written on here in a flipping long time! a lot has happened since i have though and i wouldnt be able to write on it all...im not even going to attempt. life has been kinda weird lately though, i find myself distant from a lot of people that i used to talk to all the time and that kinda sucks.nothing that great has happened in these past couple weeks...i have made a LOT of stupid mistakes and opened my big mouth when i shouldnt have.
i made attempt to help a friend with their life choices...i was praying for the courage to comfront him/her...but it didnt help, thats ok im not going to give up yet. the person that i am trying to help is such a great person though and i know that despite their actions they have good intentions. maybe i am making no sense, but can you pray for both this person and my courage.

well i have to go cause i just found out that one of the SWEETEST PEOPLE EVER is really sad so i need to make them laugh...
wish me luck

Make Good Choices

<3 <3 <3

piratexproperty @ 2005-04-25T16:44:00

2005-04-25T23:52:50Z

have you ever had to do something...that you really didnt want to do but u knew it was the right thing?
that might make no sense but thats how i feel...i love everyone, and any of the friends that i have made in the past month and a half I LOVE YOU

LOTSA DRAMMA RIGHT NOW but i am hanging in there
i love you natalie
i love you maureen
i love you jennifer
i love you nick
i love you angela
i love you lindsey
i love you brock
i love you niall
i love you andie
i love you theresa
i love you jennifer p
i love you trent
i love you bubi
i love you hayley
i love you God
i love you your mom

piratexproperty @ 2005-04-17T13:40:00

2005-04-17T20:41:11Z

leave me a comment please...i have no idea where i am going right ow but yea..nvm

piratexproperty @ 2005-04-11T20:39:00

2005-04-12T03:40:28Z

I MISS YOU SOO MUCH MELANIE! </3

piratexproperty @ 2005-04-11T20:01:00

2005-04-12T03:33:54Z

001. Spell your name: Brittany

002. Spell your name backwards: ynattirb

003. Date of birth: november 22,1988

004. Male or female: female

005. Astrological sign: they are gay

006. Nicknames: rags, roo, shelly ann rags, gracie, and i cant think of ne more

007. Occupation: Student

008. Height: 5'3

009. Weight: dont want to say

010. Hair color: dark blonde and it gets lighter but in the summer it will all be really light

011. Eye color: hazel

012. Where were you born? somewhere close to here i think

013. Where do you reside now? Downey

014. Age: 16

015. Screen names: piratexproperty

016. E-mail: piratexproperty@yahoo.com

017. What does your screen name stand for: i dunno, but i love pirates...maybe that pirate's own me?!?!

018. What is your XANGA name: -forgot havent used it in like 2 years

019. What does your XANGA name stand for? -couldnt tell u

020. Pets: 2 dogs, 3 cats, a bird and a crap load of fish

021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake: none...i didnt have a b-day cake

022. Piercings: Ears

023. Tattoos: not till i am 17

024. Shoe size: 5 1/2

025. Righty or lefty? righty

026. Wearing: booty shorts and a softball t-shirt

027. Hearing: Dido

028. Feeling: kinda confused and lonely

029. Eating/drinking: nothing

~Friends Stuff~

Which one of your friends is the....

030. Funniest? all of my friends are Freaking funny

031. Loudest? Angela and kelsey! but i love u for it!

032. Nicest? jennifer and maureen and natalie

033. B***hiest? none of them

034. Life of the party? wow thats hard...a lot of them

035. Jock? nick, in a good way

036. Prep? YOUR MOM! umm but really, TRENT

037. Rebel? lin

038. Cutest? i think everyone is cute...lol

039. Best friend of the same sex? angela has always been there for me, but maureen

040. Best friend of the opposite sex? hmmm...NIALL

041. Most popular? All my friends are popular

042. Rudest? all of us at certain times

043. Most shy? jenn i think, or maybe natalie

044. Dumbest? hahaha no comment

045. Smartest? jennifer, laura, angela,

046. Weirdest? me

047. Has the best hair? ummm i dunno

048. Best personality? All my friends have Great ones

049. Most talented? it think Amy is and niall and all the people in the band but i dont really know them that much

050. Most ghetto? all of freaking DOWNEY

051. Most spoiled? Laura

052. Drama queen? kelsey

053. Pain in the butt? we all are

054. Craziest? ...

055. Best advice giver? well when i used to talk to brian, niall, Amy, jen

056. Druggie? ...i wont say names but u know who u are and i am praying for you

057. Most likely to join a cult? ummmm no!

058. Have you lost touch with a good friend recently? sadly yea

059. Person you've been friends with the longest? Maureen

060. How many friends do you have on your buddy list? 152

~Girls/Guys/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~

061. Have you ever been in love? im not sure...im still trying to figure that whole thing out

062. How many people have you told "I love you"? maybe too many

063. How many people have you been in love with? Look up 2 questions

064. How many people have you kissed?thats not ur buisness

065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? yea but like on the cheek

066. How many people have you dated? a handfull

067. What do you look for in a guy/girl? dont feel like answering that

068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? can they make me laugh

069. What type of guy/girl do you usually go for? Guys at church

070. Do you have a bf/gf? yea

071. If so where did you meet church

072. What do you like most about your bf/gf? that he can make me laugh and he knows a lot about me and still likes me for who i am now

073. Do you have a crush right now? yesss

074. If so who is it? NAILL

075. Do you believe in love at first sight? i dunno

076. Do you remember your first love? what kinda gay ? is that

077. Who is the first person you kissed? Sean

078. Do you believe in fate? kind of

079. Do you believe in soul mates? i do

080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours? i hope so

081. Are you a virgin? UNTIL MARRIAGE!!!

~Family Stuff~

104. How many siblings do you have? 2 sisters I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH! I STILL LOVE YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU! <33333333333!

105. What are your parents names?: Todd and Lori

106. What are your siblings names? Kassidy and melanie

107. How many siblings does your mother have? i dont know

108. How many siblings does your father have? only child

I MISS YOU KASSIDY AND MELANIE AND I AM SOOO SORRY FOR EVER PICKING ON YOU GUYS! I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO SEE YOU GUYS EVERYDAY! I THINK ABOUT U GUYS ALL THE TIME! <333333 ur big sis

My day with anDiE!!!!!!

2005-04-10T01:13:54Z

well so far today has been an awesome day...
i woke up at like 9:00am and chilled and then andie and i went to LTF's band practice...
that was fun, andie is awesome, at first i wasnt sure if we would get along but we did! at least i think we did, I HOPE SHE THINKS WE DID! lol
now i am at her house witch is freaking awesome ans we are watching friends
well i am going to go

piratexproperty @ 2005-04-04T21:11:00

2005-04-05T04:12:02Z

What Would You do if...
I cried:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got in a fight and you were there:
I got dumped:
I pissed you off:

What Do You Think Of My...
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
Voice:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Mannerisms:
Family:
Friends:
Decisions:

Would You...
Be my friend:
Tell me the truth no matter what:
Lie to make me feel better:
Spread rumors about me:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Loan me some cash:
Hold my hand:
Take a bullet for me:
Keep in touch:
Try and solve my problems:
Love me:
makeout with me:
hold me in times of need:
Have sex with me:
Ditch me:
Use me:
Date me:
Rape me:
Beat me up:

piratexproperty @ 2005-04-03T20:57:00

2005-04-04T03:58:49Z

i feel like crap

what am i supposed to doooooooo?

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

UUUUUUUUGH

piratexproperty @ 2005-03-31T16:14:00

2005-04-01T00:17:32Z

well i am really tired and tommorow is my BIG test for lifeguarding! wish me luck everyone! and i cant wait till everyone comes back from TJ tommorow! this has been a pretty long week! and i am really burnt, i dont want skin cancer, i havent been burnt this bad in like 5 years...uuuuuugh! well yea im am going to study for the big test...so much to remember, i dont think i have ever learned soooo much in 4 days! <3 everyone

piratexproperty @ 2005-03-29T18:54:00

2005-03-30T03:01:19Z

well i have the worst sunburn of my life! ugggh, and i look horrible :( and now i am really sleepy cause thats what happens when you get sun burned really bad! jen and i have been getting closer, i love her so much she is so adorable. we are both taking lifeguard classes together, and natalie and erin and some other people. well i am going to go
time for more aloe vera

i miss niall!

<33333333333

come back soon!

piratexproperty @ 2005-03-27T20:46:00

2005-03-28T04:53:08Z

1)What does dating mean to you? when you want to be more than friends?
2)Why do you date/want to date? because
3)Are you dating right now? yea
--Why are you dating them? because they have been through me and dont think ne diff. about me even though i have had a rough past.
--How often do you 'go on a date'i dunno
--Do you have an accountability system for your dating lifestyle?lol what?
--Do you ever ask yourself 'Why are we dating? Is this healthy?'i ask myself y am i dating but i know its healthy
4)Do you date just to date?no i think thats a little lame
5)Do you have boundries/limits for when you do date?yea
--What are they?dont push me to do something i dont want to do
--What are they for? umm me
6)Group or private dates? private
--Why? because u find a lot about the person
7)What do you look for in a date or potential date?, good sense of humor, charm and i need to trust the person.
--Why?
8)Would you date a person with a diffrent...
--Political Party? yes
--Religion? no
--View of family? yea
--View on right/wrong? maybe
9)Would you say dating is stressful? can be...but its not all easy